50+ Funny Travel Quotes to make you smile and laugh

If you read the quotes along with music like the “Good Feeling” soundtrack by Flo Rida, it will buck you up even more.

So, let’s begin:

50+ Funny Travel Quotes

1. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” — Susan Heller

2. “It Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read this notice.” — A hotel in Tokyo

3. “Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.” — a Swiss restaurant

4. “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal.” — Paulo Coehlo

5. “If you’re a person who says yes most of the time, you’ll find yourself in the hotel business and the restaurant business.” — Francis Ford Coppola

Francis Ford Coppola quote:

8. “I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.” — Michael LeRoux

9. “Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.” — Meaghan O’Connell

10. Pubs! The official sunblock of Ireland! — Ludop0lis

11. “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.” — Hotel in Athens

12. “I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.” — James Breakwell

13. “I just gave Hotel Rwanda one star on hotels.com” — Jordan Rubin

14. “I’m always slightly bummed when my car hits 88mph and I don’t travel back in time.” — Paul Scheer

Funny travel quotes

16. “Vacation resort rule number one: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever. ” — Mike Scully

17. “You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.” — Abe Yospe

18. “Woman across from me at the airport is breastfeeding. To show support, I took my shirt off and made strong eye contact.” — Patrick Borelli

19. “In Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage and cheese. That’s the Wurst Käse scenario.” — O Laparoto

20. “When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.” — Car rental firm in Tokyo

24. “We are sorry, instant spouses not allowed.” — Metaweb / Ranker / Lispher Inn

25. “Travelling- It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” — Ibn Battuta

Funny travel quote: "Travelling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller." - Ibn Battuta

26. “It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.” — A sign posted in Germany’s Black forest

27. “Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.” — Zurich hotel

28. “We take your bags and send them in all directions.” — Copenhagen airline ticket office

29. “Open seven days a week and weekends.” — a New Jersey restaurant

Funny travel quote:

30. “Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.” — Unknown

31. “When you are paying the Room Service Bill, don’t sign the bill. When you are signing the bill, don’t pay the room service bill. ” — a hotel

32. On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ” — Montgomery Smith

33. “English well talking. Here speeching American.” — Majorcan shop entrance

34. “Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here? — Oregon general store

35. “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” — Anonymous

36. “Travelopenia, a chronic vacation deficit.” — Unknown

37. “Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.” — Truman Capote

38. “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” — George Roberts

39. “The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.” — foodandwhining

40. “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” — Susan Sontag

Funny travel quote:

41. “If a thousand words equals one picture, travel is a movie marathon.” — Anonymous

42. “The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.” — Bucharest hotel lobby

43. “Staycationitis, inflammation usually caused by excessive staycationing (i.e. staycationrrhage) or not being able to travel abroad.” — Unknown

44. “Trip good!” — AirFastTickets

45. “The trips you never made, you never will.” — Expedia

46. “I’m a New Zealander and I’m proud of my country, or at least I would be if I could find it. Damn, it has to be around here somewhere…” — The Timberjack

47. “Now ladies and gentlemen, in the event that you have not been in an automobile since 1942, we are going to show you how to fasten a seatbelt.” — Southwest flight attendant

48. “I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.” — Anonymous

49. “Still haven’t fully unpacked from a trip I took in 2009.” — lauren ashley bishop

50. “Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.” – Jim Gaffigan

51. “I have a need to travel in space, not in time” — Unknown

52. “When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.” — Unknown

53. “[normal life] I’ve worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for a vacation] hmm. I’ll prob change a few times a day so that’s… 32 shirts” — jonny sun

Summary

How do you like the funny travel quotes? Do you feel rejoiced? Let us know in the comments section.

Would you like to suggest a funny travel quote as an addition to our list? Let us know in the comments.

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If you want more travel quotes, go to our page with ancient and inspiring travel quotes.

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