Have a need for funny travel quotes that will brighten your day and make you happier? You are at the right place if you want an endorphin rush 🙂
Because of obvious reasons probably some of you are missing the little travel adventures. The funny travel quotes will cheer you up and expand your laughing capacity. A little bit of entertainment for your mind is always welcome, and maybe even more nowadays. The funny travel quotes will put a smile on your face and will instill in you a good mood. As a positive side effect they will improve your immunity, at least for a moment 🙂 Also they may inspire your next trip or your next travel destination.
We carefully handpicked for you 50+ funny travel quotes coming from various resources: famous writers, Kaare Danielsen’s encounters with funny travel situations, Reddit, TripAdvisor, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. All in all, real funny travel situations and thoughts. We took care to provide you large chunk of fresh quotes, not the ones that you will usually find elsewhere. So, your appetite for new and original humor will be satisfied.
Be aware, some quotes are hilarious and may deplete your endorphin reserves for a while. Some of them might be a little bit lame for your taste, we apologize for that, but it will help you recharge your laughter for the next surprising funny quote on the list. So, maybe it will be like a laughing roller coaster for you, with ups and downs.
If you read the quotes along with music like the “Good Feeling” soundtrack by Flo Rida, it will buck you up even more.
So, let’s begin:
50+ Funny Travel Quotes
1. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” — Susan Heller
2. “It Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read this notice.” — A hotel in Tokyo
3. “This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.” — Brooke Miller
4. “Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.” — a Swiss restaurant
5. “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal.” — Paulo Coehlo
6. “If you’re a person who says yes most of the time, you’ll find yourself in the hotel business and the restaurant business.” — Francis Ford Coppola
7. “It’s only Quarantine if it’s in the Quarante province of France. Otherwise it’s just Sparkling Isolation.” — Vikram Paralkar
8. “I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.” — Michael LeRoux
9. “Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.” — Meaghan O’Connell
10. Pubs! The official sunblock of Ireland! — Ludop0lis
11. “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.” — Hotel in Athens
12. Friend 1: Coronavirus pandemic could be over in two years
Friend 2: who told?
Friend 1: Yes W.H.O. told. — SomethingFunny
13. “I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.” — James Breakwell
14. “I just gave Hotel Rwanda one star on hotels.com” — Jordan Rubin
15. “I’m always slightly bummed when my car hits 88mph and I don’t travel back in time.” — Paul Scheer
* Hint: “Back to the Future”
16. “Vacation resort rule number one: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever. ” — Mike Scully
17. “You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.” — Abe Yospe
18. “Woman across from me at the airport is breastfeeding. To show support, I took my shirt off and made strong eye contact.” — Patrick Borelli
19. “Eventually, everyone will be quarantined to their houses with no sports to watch… and in 9 months from now a boom of babies will be born…and we will call them Coronials.” — Creative Talent Agency
20. “Social Distancing. I looked into her eyes, deep into the emerald green, my heart fluttered, I felt a connection, something deeper, something magical, I was transported to another place and I thought, blimey these binoculars are brilliant.” — Paul O’Connor
21. “In Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage and cheese. That’s the Wurst Käse scenario.” — O Laparoto
22. “When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.” — Car rental firm in Tokyo
23. “Airports are gonna go from being the meanest place to be to the nicest once we’re allowed to fly again. check my bag? go ahead. screaming baby? sit right next to me buddy.” — Ashley Fern Rothberg
24. “We are sorry, instant spouses not allowed.” — Metaweb / Ranker / Lispher Inn
25. “Travelling- It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” — Ibn Battuta
26. “It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.” — A sign posted in Germany’s Black forest
27. “Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.” — Zurich hotel
28. “We take your bags and send them in all directions.” — Copenhagen airline ticket office
29. “Open seven days a week and weekends.” — a New Jersey restaurant
30. “Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.” — Unknown
31. “When you are paying the Room Service Bill, don’t sign the bill. When you are signing the bill, don’t pay the room service bill. ” — a hotel
32. On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ” — Montgomery Smith
33. “English well talking. Here speeching American.” — Majorcan shop entrance
34. “Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here? — Oregon general store
35. “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” — Anonymous
36. “Travelopenia, a chronic vacation deficit.” — Unknown
37. “Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.” — Truman Capote
38. “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” — George Roberts
39. “The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.” — foodandwhining
40. “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” — Susan Sontag
41. “If a thousand words equals one picture, travel is a movie marathon.” — Anonymous
42. “The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.” — Bucharest hotel lobby
43. “Staycationitis, inflammation usually caused by excessive staycationing (i.e. staycationrrhage) or not being able to travel abroad.” — Unknown
44. “Trip good!” — AirFastTickets
45. “The trips you never made, you never will.” — Expedia
46. “I’m a New Zealander and I’m proud of my country, or at least I would be if I could find it. Damn, it has to be around here somewhere…” — The Timberjack
47. “Now ladies and gentlemen, in the event that you have not been in an automobile since 1942, we are going to show you how to fasten a seatbelt.” — Southwest flight attendant
48. “I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.” — Anonymous
49. “Still haven’t fully unpacked from a trip I took in 2009.” — lauren ashley bishop
50. “Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.” – Jim Gaffigan
51. “I have a need to travel in space, not in time” — Unknown
52. “When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.” — Unknown
53. “[normal life] I’ve worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for a vacation] hmm. I’ll prob change a few times a day so that’s… 32 shirts” — jonny sun
How do you like the funny travel quotes? Do you feel rejoiced? Let us know in the comments section.
Would you like to suggest a funny travel quote as an addition to our list? Let us know in the comments.
If you like some of our quotes so much, feel free to share them further on your social media or blog.
If you want more travel quotes, go to our page with ancient and inspiring travel quotes.
*** You can also save the funny travel quotes to your Pinterest account ***